On Oprah yesterday

On Oprah yesterday – James Carey said: “Keep in your mind what you want and not what you don’t want.

and he went on, and although he was referring to finding a mate, this applies to anything in your life:

If you go around saying it’s impossible, no one will ever love me, a good man is hard to find, then you are saying to the Universe that you don’t believe in abundance. And this Universe that created the starts, Niagara Falls, the Grand Canyon and the duck billed platypus, is quite capable of finding someone to love you, no matter what your situation is.

So convince yourself that you deserve to be loved first of all”

Zero Limits

Responsibility of choice

There has been an increase in chatter about the law of attraction since the release of the movie, the Secret.

Many people will proudly state “law of attraction” or LOA, when they get a parking space, a table without waiting at a restaurant, a green light at an intersection; and in the next breath deny or ignore that the unpleasant event is also a result of their same energy.

Whether you refer to what happens in your life as Law of Attraction, Law of Return, Karma, Synchronicity, Law of Reciprocity, Cause and Effect, The Golden Rule , Energetics, Ho'oponopono, etc - the bottom line is your responsibility. You are responsible for the choices you make and the results that occur because of the choices you make.

Whether you label the result as good or bad, whether you choose to enjoy the results or complain about the results – the results are based on the choices or lack of choices you make. If you are on your way to an event and you are running late, you are responsible for your choice of activities and behaviors that placed you enroute at that (late) time. If you then end up in traffic and an accident of someone else on the road has then slowed down traffic, and you are caused a longer delay in your travel, you are still responsible for being at that place, at that time. You are responsible for your reaction to the situation at that time. You are responsible for your choice of your next emotion, thought and action at that time. So at whatever time you finally arrive at your destination, it is not the fault of the traffic. It is all because of the choices you made.

This is where so many new followers to Law of Attraction let go. This is where many people go from taking responsibility for their thoughts, and choices of actions to blaming outside of themselves - the traffic, the other drivers, the weather, etc.

Remember – lets go back to the beginning. YOU made the choices of the behaviors that put you in traffic at that time. YOU were functioning either consciously or unconsciously.

If you are getting the results you enjoy in life, then continue doing the same things you are currently doing. If it pleases you to blame traffic for your choice of behavior, then continue to do so. Your choice.

“The definition of Insanity is doing the same things
and expecting different results.”
~ Albert Einstein ~

In order to consciously gain the results you desire in life, you must first be conscious of your own thoughts and behaviors. These are YOUR thoughts and chosen behaviors. You be willing to be conscious.

Only from that a place of consciousness can you then see which thoughts, behaviors and habits you choose actually support you in moving towards your desired result. From consciousness, you can now take actions to keep those that you want to keep and change those behaviors that you want to change, in order to get a different result. When you choose consciously, you will see more results that move you in the direction of your desired results.

Frustration and IT

FRUSTRATION: -noun; the feeling that accompanies an experience of being thwarted in attaining your goals ; a feeling of dissatisfaction resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.

That dictionary definition makes sense in a world of human emotions. However, what happens when we get frustrated and ANGRY?
Or frustrated and feeling helpless?
Or frustrated and call ourselves names, ie: stupid?

When we get angry or impatient during or after that moment of frustration, it is because we want what is happening right now, to be different than it is right now.

There has been an increase in buzz about the law of attraction since the release of the movie, the Secret.

Many people will proudly declare “law of attraction” or LOA, when they get a parking space, a table without waiting at a restaurant, a green light at an intersection; and in the next breath deny or ignore all personal responsibility, when IT doesn't go the way they wish.

If you observe what you are thinking in your own mind, you will see that when you come face to face with your frustration over what IS happening right now, that your habitual thoughts will first condemn. Then your thoughts begin to compare IT (what is happening right now) with 'what IT should be'; or you search and listen for thoughts to justify IT. And then your next choice of emotions begin.

Anger related to frustration is a form of tantrum throwing. Many people have developed the habit of magical and microwave type thinking that IT must change and IT must change now.

Like the old movie Bewitched, the most effort many people want to have to exercise is to twitch their noses and have IT change instantly. (Eventually we would get angry with having to twitch our noses all the time and we would want IT to change without having to twitch).

Our anger doesn’t want to learn anything new, or do anything different – we just want IT the way we want IT without any further effort on our part. (see small child foot stomping emphasis here)

Many people have developed the habit of accepting feelings of helplessness sometimes just after the anger or accompanying it. The helplessness comes from lumping this one IT into all the other IT's that are (allegedly) going wrong in our life – and our negative emotions escalate. It's difficult to eat an entire buffet at once. It's much easier to focus on one course and one bite at a time. Yet we lump all our life events into one mountainous illusion, and dwarf ourselves in its shadow.

And in moments of low self esteem, name calling rears its head. This behavior has no positive value and only creates more feelings of helplessness and unworthiness. Your frustration turned into self loathing is telling you that you are operating on an old limiting belief about yourself. This may require additional introspection on the topic of self worthiness.

WHAT IF you were hiking in beautiful nature and enjoying the journey and you came upon a stream of water you needed to cross. Would you sit down and get angry that the stream was interfering with your hike; or you would look for an answer around you for how to get across; or you would call upon your creative mind; or you would give up and retreat? So many choices.

Anger, feelings of helplessness, frustration and name calling close the door to possibilities. It can be painful when we bang our heads against a closed door. WHAT IF there was a lock that door that only required a key? Would you start looking for the key, get angry because it wasn’t already in your pocket, or keep banging your head and increasing the pain, or would you give up?

You actually already possess that key, and it is within your reach.

WHAT IF you looked at a frustrating IT as an opportunity? And I’m not talking about that see-saw string of words chimed by so many New Agers ..."Here’s another spiritual opportunity for growth……”

WHAT IF – at the first moment of frustration you took a moment to ask yourself –
"why am I reacting the way I am?”
when I have reacted this way in the past – have those times gotten me closer to or farther away from my desired result?”
“what is my intended result with my behavior, my actions or the activity I am involved in right now?”
"am I willing to I learn something new that will enhance my career or quality of life?"
"am I learning a new way to use my creative mind?"
"Is this an opportunity to let go of an old habit and accept what is right now, so I can learn a new habit?"
"Am I willing to apologize to myself and forgive myself?

WHAT IF – in that moment of reflection you heard from your inner self that this frustrating IT was an answer to something you had previously asked for, or an opportunity to learn something new in your moving forward energy in life or career, or this IT was an opportunity to learn something new to complete something from your past?

How would you respond to that frustrating IT now?

I am suggesting that you decide in the right now, in the IT of frustration how you want the next moment to be. I am suggesting you take responsibility for your reactions and choose the one that moves you closer to your desired result.

Whether you refer to what happens in your life as Law of Attraction, Law of Return, Karma, Synchronicity, Law of Reciprocity, Cause and Effect, The Golden Rule , Energetics, etc - the bottom line is your responsibility. You are responsible for the choices you make and the results that occur because of the choices you make.

“One new perception, one fresh thought, one act of surrender,
one change of heart,
one leap of faith, can change your life forever.”
~ Robert Holden ~

When we present a topic we also like to offer Keys to assist you in finding your solution.
There are several Keys to assist you in moving through Frustration to empowerment.

“ We must also be careful to avoid ingesting toxins in the form of violent TV programs, video games, movies, magazines, and books. When we watch that kind of violence, we water our own negative seeds, or tendencies, and eventually we will think and act out of those seeds. " ~Thich Nhat Hahn

We suggest Movies with Message for positive movie recommendations

The ancient Hawaiian Ho'Oponopono method of problem solving is another excellent key.

This video is one of the best we have found.

Fitting in or having the life you desire?”

In a conversation with a friend one day, when asked how I was as I moving through a problem that came into my life, I replied that I was focusing on solutions. She responded that she would do the same but since everyone else was complaining about everything, she felt she wouldn’t fit unless she did the same.

You need to ask yourself “Which is more important – fitting in or having the life you desire?”

“The definition of Insanity is doing the same things
and expecting different results.”
~ Albert Einstein ~

When you start focusing on your DESIRES, and you start to have them and accomplish them, you will not longer “fit in” with the people who choose to focus on the problems and the excuses. Only you can decide if you want to fit in with the people who criticize and complain, or fit in with the group of people who are having and accomplishing their deepest DESIRES.

As you write your LIST of DESIRES, answer these two questions with each one:

How will I change?How will this change my life?

Be deeply honest with yourself. Will you feel more freedom? Will you feel happier? Will you be more generous? Will you be afraid of what others will think and say? Will you be nice or mean?

Some people stop themselves because they are afraid of actually having what they really DESIRE; others are afraid of becoming “like those mean or dishonest people”; others are afraid people may not like them.

Make an agreement with yourself how you will grow in a positive way.

When you write how you will change next to your DESIRES, you will be reinforcing your positive change every time you read your LIST.

”When you rise above the masses you will always become a target.
Just as a flower grows taller than the surrounding grass,
and becomes a target for the nourishing sunshine,
it also becomes a target to be cut down.”
~ Sumner Davenport ~

Willingness & Willpower

Your Willingness opens your mind to new creative ideas and inspired thoughts and your eyes will see new opportunities. Being willing is being receptive.

Willingness means to nourish your intention. Intention is “tending” to your desire from “WITHIN”.

Willingness is following inspired and positive action instead of attempting to force results.

Willpower, on the other hand is hard work, forcing you to do something. If you attempt to FORCE a result, it’s similar to forcing a square peg into a round hole. It may go in there, however, there are gaps and broken edges. The final result doesn’t appear to fit the desire, does it?

“You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As you will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.”
~ The Upanishads ~
As Translated by Eknath Easwaran